Men might often accuse women of being complicated creatures who don’t always say what they are really thinking. But, anyone who has ever tried to date a man, knows that the opposite is true (as well). Men often lie or hide their true feelings, and play around, because society promotes the idea that that is how men should be. Whatever is the reason behind the bullshit they give women when they don’t want to commit, we decode it all for you. Don’t let anyone break your heart!
“I really like you but I’m a bad guy and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
In reality, this means he is going to be a terrible person to you on purpose, till you’ve been driven mad to the point that you leave him. Such men don’t have the guts to break up with you. They would rather behave badly, gain your sympathy and use it to their advantage. This way, they can always say later, “I was honest and I told you I suck, but you stayed.”
“I need to focus on my career.”
Unless you’re constantly calling him while he is at work or have done something extreme, like chained him to the bed, we don’t see how you or any woman in his life could be a hindrance to his career. Life is all about balancing things and finding time for what is important. So, even if a man truly did believe that he cannot be with you because work is too crazy (which we think is a lie), then he doesn’t think you’re important enough.
“My girlfriend/wife is crazy. I cannot leave her.”
If you’ve watched Biwi No. 1, you would know that men who are cheating on their significant others are generally terrible people. To add to that, if they call the person they are cheating on “crazy,” then normally, they are the ones who are awful people. In all likelihood, he is stringing you both along and using her as an excuse to not commit.
“My parents will never agree to this.”
If the guy you’re into is enough of a man-child to still be scared of what his parents will say about his choice of partner, then he shouldn’t be allowed to date people. He should be escorted to his wedding and married off to whoever his parents choose. Do you really want to romanticise a broken affair with a man like that and cry about it?
“I’m not ready yet. But I might be later. Let’s just see how things go.”
There are some men who come up with creative excuses and know how to be subtle about rejecting a woman. The men who make statements like the one above, however, are not from that category. They are blatant about the fact that they are stringing you along as an option. But whether or not you want to put up with it, is the real question here.
“My last girlfriend was crazy, and I had a really tough relationship, so I don’t want one now.”
Roughly translated, this means, “I think all women are the same. I can’t tell the difference between you and the last girl I dated.” What is the point of being with a man who is holding HIS past against YOU? Most of the time, in fact, this excuse is a cover for commitment phobia, and in all probability, his ex isn’t crazy at all.
“I think the timing is wrong.”
There will always be a new job, a sick relative, his sister’s wedding or exams to sit for. Whether or not you let that come in between you and the person you love, is up to you both. A lot of people enter long distance relationships, a lot of people survive them. Many things go wrong in people’s lives, and they don’t break up saying the timing is wrong. This is because the right person makes the worst of times seem better. So, if he tells you the timing is wrong, then he is the one who is wrong.
“If I stay with you, I will fall in love with you.”
A more insanely cheesy and disgustingly fake line has not been stolen from the movies. So, if a man uses it on you, feel free to barf there and then, for it is the lamest excuse to not commit to someone. If a guy really thinks you are stupid enough to say “Hey, I understand you don’t want to fall in love with someone because you’re in love with them already” and walk off, you both have big issues to deal with.
“I think we want different things from life.”
While it is perfectly acceptable to break up if you are very different people, the sentence above denotes something else. Wanting different things in life usually means that you want a relationship, whereas he doesn’t want to commit. He just doesn’t want to spell this out and admit it like a decent person. He’d rather keep you confused.
“You deserve better than me.”
This self-deprecatory statement is usually a man’s way of trying to weasel out of commitment without putting you down. He probably doesn’t want to hurt you because he thinks you’re oversensitive and can’t take the truth, and also thinks this will help him avoid drama. This way, you will believe that someone better is out there for you and he can get out of the situation safely. It might be somewhat nice, but it is still a cop out.