Your partner messed up, big time, and he or she is now begging for a second chance. You want to give it to them but you are not too sure if it’s worth it … does this sounds familiar? Getting back to a place where you can trust your partner and letting go of all the hurt and anger post cheating, or something else that is as devastating, can be hard, but what makes it worse is the uncertainty involved in the decision.
You want the relationship to go back to how it was, but the question is, is your partner really sorry?
What are the chances that this won’t happen again?
These are very valid concerns. However, unfortunately, there is no set formula that lets you know whether or not your partner is going to repeat the pattern, or is truly remorseful. There are, however, some signs that are common indicators of a partner who genuinely want to make things work. Remember every relationship is different and you also need to trust your own gut when it comes to these things.
When it comes to cheating, more than the actual physical act, it is the lack of trust that kills things. Before you go on to think of whether or not he or she deserve a second chance, ask yourself if you are willing to trust them again. No checking their phones, no paranoid visiting to their office, no keeping tabs on them via social media …nothing. Simply, are you ready to trust them? If yes, then these pointers can help.
He or she is ready to do whatever it takes
There are partners who are sorry and there are partners who are ready to go to any extent to have you forgive them. If you feel that your partner has understood that they have hurt you, and are genuinely never going to put you in this spot again, then you are in a good space. It is easy to treat cheating as something that just “happens” instead of the big, painful relationship killer that it is.
He or she is accepting the blame
It is important for your partner to realise that no matter what stage you were in, in your own relationship, cheating is not an option. Problems are always going to be there and if your partner is using your relationship troubles as a shield to excuse themselves from taking responsibility, you might not want to get into this again.
It’s a one-time thing
A one-time thing is no indication that your partner won’t do the same thing again, but what we mean here is that if you otherwise trust your partner completely and find him or her completely honest, then it might be worth taking a risk.
At the end of the day, it boils down to this. Are you ready to forgive him or her? How much does it affect the foundation of your relationship? Make sure that you, along with your partner are in a space where you are ready to forgive and also forget, before you consider a second chance.