Ending a relationship is hard, whether it was your decision or the other person’s decision. There are several ways that you can work through your painful emotions and start to move on, such as writing about your feelings, allowing yourself to grieve, and being cautious about rebound relationships. Always keep in mind that getting over a breakup takes time and patience and that you’ve got to take it easy on yourself. If things don’t seem to get better with time, remember that you can always turn to friends, family, or even a mental health professional for support.
- Keep a safe distance
Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away completely from each other right after the breakup, otherwise things are going to got complicated, and you’ll be miserable. This means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages, no Facebook, NO NOTHING. You don’t have to have stop talking forever, but you do need to cut all communication for as long as it takes to get completely over your ex.
2. Get rid of all the things given to you by them
There are all kinds of things that remind you of your ex–– A song, a smell, a sound, a place. Having these items around can make it harder for you to recover from a breakup. Remove all of the things that make your heart ache or your stomach turn. It can work wonders to clear your space of all these triggers.
3. Be honest with yourself
The only effective way to challenge your thoughts is with brutal honesty. This is the portion of post-breakup recovery that I like to lovingly call “ripping off the Band-Aid.” It hurts. It sucks. It’s the only way out of this funk you’ve been living in.
4. Take them off social media, or stay off of it yourself
You’ll likely regret angry updates and photo purges at a later date. Unplug from the internet, and avoid the temptation to send rash messages. Save any communication for a time when you can think more clearly.
5. Don’t blame yourself if you broke the tie
it takes two to break up — the problem wasn’t just you, it was you two as a couple. It’s almost reverse-narcissistic to blame yourself that much! If you try to look at the relationship from the outside, maybe you’ll have an easier time seeing how you both contributed to the breakup.
6. It’s okay to cry
If you don’t, you’ll repress your feelings until you break down in the office pantry or some place else.